Halcyon
by anatomicallyinclined
Summary: Liz starts taking the steps towards getting a clean start and making peace with herself after Tom. But circumstance won't allow her to get rid of Tom's Memories so easily and it's up to Red and Ressler to get her through.
1. Chapter 1 - FRIENDLY ADVICE

**I do not own anything concerning the Blacklist. **

The whole week was crazy, and chaotic, and frustrating. Liz had to struggle with Red's latest blacklister who turned out to be a major pain in the ass, and the finalizing of her divorce from Tom. Now, here she was, sitting at a bar, falling prey to the feeling of self-pity that had washed over her almost four months ago. It was official. Her life had strategically fallen apart around her, and she promised herself that she wouldn't let it get to her. But some promises were meant to be broken. She looked at both her hands that were placed on the bar counter. "Could I get you another bourbon, mam?" Asked the bartender. "Please," she answered offering a second long smile.

"Really - Liz?" said the male voice from behind her. She turned around and surprised wasn't the word that she would've used when she saw who it was, "didn't take you for a person who drinks their sorrow away," said her partner, Agent Donald Ressler. "I'd have what she's having," he directed at the bartender.

"Well, welcome to my life agent Ressler," she said as she took the glass of bourbon and gulped it down on her first go, "Another, please."

"Easy there, how much have you had already?" asked a concerned Donald.

"This is the third, I think," she replied as she accepted the glass of whiskey. She raises the glass in the air as though she were making a toast, and turned towards Donald, "here's to -our partnership, something that has harbored more fights and mistrust than my marriage and will most definitely not end in divorce," and she gulped down her drink while Donald focused his worried gaze on her, sipping his drink.

In his two years working with Elizabeth Keen, he had never seen her like this. The strong, independent woman, he had grown to like, trust and respect wasn't there anymore. It was as though Tom Keen had sucked the life out of her. Audrey broke his heart, but the heartache Liz was going through, was nothing compared to what he knew it as. Tom lied and cheated; he played Liz like a pinball machine from the very beginning. After Liz found out about his despicable character, the devastation Liz fell into pulled at his heart. Don wanted to toss Tom on the ground and kick him until his ribs were broken and was left with nothing but welts and bruises to remind him of the pain he caused Liz. Instead, he put himself in the position to be there for her. As much as she didn't want to show any signs of weakness, he was her partner. Cause That's what they were...partners, right?

"Liz, you need to stop this," he said as his gaze sternly warranted her attention, "You're a wonderful woman and I can't let you mope around for a man who you meant nothing too."

They both looked at each other. It seemed like a day had passed before she spoke, "I'm not mad at him - Ressler; I'm pissed at myself for not figuring it out sooner. I should've listened to Reddington."

With that being said she got up and left the bar. Ressler looked at her proceeding to exit the pub, and after mere seconds he left a hundred bucks on the counter and followed her.

"Liz! Liz! Wait up," he shouted as he exited the doors of the pub. He closed the distance between them "I won't let you drive home in this condition"

"Ressler I'm perfectly fine," she said with a sarcastic tone.

"Come, let me take you home, we'll use your car," he said as he held her by her arm and led her to her vehicle.

XXXX

The next morning was painful. She opened her eyes and the bright sunlight was causing her head to hurt. She put her hand over her eyes trying to block the sunlight out. After a couple minutes, as the pain started to dissipate, she gently rubbed her forehead and eyes and opened them. She just laid there, adjusting her vision to her surroundings. Suddenly she realized that the surface she had been sleeping on was not her bed. The room she was in was not her bedroom. She slept on the couch in her living room. But she didn't remember how she got there. Then she heard someone shifting in the single couch opposite her. She looked over to see a sleeping Agent Ressler. She had never thought that the day would've come when she'd actually see him like this. He looked...peaceful. His face was perfectly smooth. He positioned himself so gracefully on the chair with his head leaned all the way back and his arms folded. Was he there whole night?

Eventually she got up off the couch, and walked towards the kitchen. She needed coffee. Nothing like the good old coffee to remedy a hangover. She opened her half emptied cupboard, and took out a half filled bottle of coffee and then put her water to boil. She turned around at the same time she saw Donald walking in rubbing his eyes. "Good morning," they both said to each other as they made eye contact.

"Do you - want some coffee?" Asked Liz

"Sure, I'll have some," he answered as he settled on one of her stools at the kitchen island.

Liz made him a cup of coffee and stood opposite him with her cup. "Listen, Don, I'm sorry if I said or did anything out of place last night... I didn't know what I was thinking,"

"Liz, you've nothing to apologize for. You're in a bad place. I'm just glad that I was there to make sure you weren't going anywhere worst," and with his words she allowed herself to smile, a bit. She allowed her eyes to meet his and he allowed his gaze to meet hers with the same intensity. "Thank you," she quietly said, " for everything you've done for me."

She didn't know what she meant by that statement. She didn't know whether she was thanking him for bringing her home last night or for just being there always - when she needed someone to rely on.

"That's just what partners do. I know you'll do the same for me," he replied. He drank out the last bit of his coffee and then looked at his watch and back at her. "I should get going."

When he told her he should leave, she wanted to tell him don't go. She was growing comfortable in his company. "I'll see you at work then," she responded as she started to walk with him towards the door.

"Why don't you take the week of Liz. You need to rest. You've been pushing yourself to really hard, especially since, T-" he stopped when he realized what he was about the say. He continued," listen, I'll tell Cooper you're taking a week off. Take it. Use it. Rest yourself...get yourself together."

"What will I do here Don? I'll be restless, I need to come to work." Protested Liz.

" No you don't. Liz - look at your house. It's a mess. You're pantry's almost empty. Your laundry pile is huge and your fridge doesn't even have bread scrums to feed of."

Liz stood quietly looking down at her feet, " Liz, this - this isn't you. I want my partner back. The one who was here four months ago. If you don't take some time for yourself, I gonna ask Cooper to send you home."

"But-"

" No buts Keen," that was a sign to shut up and do as he says. Since Tom was taken into custody, he'd stopped calling her Keen. He thought that calling her Keen would've have been making some reference to that scoundrel of a husband, calling her Liz should start to help her get accustomed to the change. This was the first time he's called her Keen in four months.

"Hey, I'm sorry, 'Kay,"

"I'm not changing the name so you might as well call me by it. Listen if you insist, then I'll take the week off okay," she said

He nodded and gave her a little smile. He walked out of her apartment and she waited to see him to hail a cab and get in before closing the door.

XXXX

Liz walked to her bedroom. She stood in the doorway and looked at the sight that was in front of her. Everywhere she looked she saw Tom. His wardrobe he shared with her. The bed he shared with her. Everything he shared with her. And what did he do? Used her, lied to her, manipulated her. Why? She may never get to know. The only other person who has answers for her won't give it. She walked up to the dressing table. Everything was just as it was four month ago. All of his things were still there. Colognes, his watch, everything. She looked at everything and She finally came to the conclusion that she didn't need any reminders of Tom. She took up the small bin from at the side of the dressing table and threw everything away. She wanted to wipe him away from her mind. She didn't mind going back to half emptied cupboards, plain white walls and empty rooms, just to get rid of Thomas Keen. She emptied his drawers, started removing his clothes from the cupboards, and she stacked them all in a heap at the centre of the room.

After having a much-needed shower, she went to the kitchen to get garbage bags so that she can put all of his stuff in it. She then made her way through the rest of the house, removing everything that was Tom and put them all in a box. She went into full clean up mood. She knew Ressler was right. She needed to get herself together. For her, the only way to do so was to get rid of everything Tom. She wanted a fresh start.

She went up back to her room to bring down the garbage bags of Tom's clothes and she then noticed she had missed some things. She looked over to the side of the bed and realized that their wedding photo was still there with her wedding band sitting next to it. She walked up to it and picked up the photo. She didn't know how long she stood up there looking at it. But she needed to do it, to throw it away. She threw it in one of the garbage bags and she stuffed her wedding band into the side pocket of her jeans. The question now was, how was she going to permanently get rid of it all?

She took out her phone and called the first name that came to mind. Red.

"Hello Lizzie, what can I do for today?" He asked.

"I need your help."

"What is this I hear, about you taking a week off?"

"Ressler insisted." She didn't want to go into details that he may already know, like the fact that Ressler drove her drunken self home or that he even stayed the night sleeping on the couch.

"I'm sure he did," he reiterated wanting to convey something more, "I'll be there in five minutes."

Xxxx

There was a knock on the door and Liz immediately went to open it allowing Red to come inside. He hanged his Fedora on the coat hanger by her door and made his way through the drawing room. He smiled at the sight in front of him. "How can I help you Lizzie?"

"I don't know what to do with it. I've packed it all away. His clothes, the albums, perfumes, you name it. I getting rid of it," she sighed and she sat down on the couch, "I just don't know what to do with it."

He took a minute to take in the boxes and garbage bags. He didn't know how Ressler pulled her strings, but whatever he did or said, worked. She was ready to start over. "I know just what to do," he said with a bright smile on his face.

Dembe loaded everything into the trunk of the car while Red and Liz sit in the backseat. "Liz, I know the last four months have been very hard, but I want you to know, that I'll always be here for you. If there is anything you need…"

"What I need Red – is an answer, I did everything right, why did this happen – to me?"

He wanted to tell her but there was so much more at stake. Her finding out why Tom played her was the equivalent of her losing her life. Red knew that by being around her, he was putting her in danger. But if she only knew the truth about Tom, or even himself, he run a greater risk of losing her. "Listen Lizzie, you need to get over it. You've made headway, continue with it. Don't frustrate yourself trying to figure out Tom's motives. He's gone now, he can't hurt you." Red and Liz shared a glance and a brief smile at each other.

Dembe drove them to literally the middle of nowhere. Civilization was out of sight. "Where are we Red?"

"If you want to get rid of anything permanently there are two things you could do. One, take example from our dear friend the Stewmaker, dissolve it. Two, burn it."

Red and Dembe prepped a bonfire with the loaded boxes and bags, and soaked it with some kerosene, Red so happened to have. "You've done this a lot haven't you?" asked Liz.

"Yes, I have," he replied while holding up a box of matches to her, "And I assure you, you're guaranteed satisfaction at the end of all this." He paused, taking a minute to look at her before saying, "Take the matches. I'll leave you to yourself."

Both Red and Dembe left her and went back to the car. She stood there for what seemed to be hours. With the strike of the match, her decision was made. Everything lit up and she stepped back, taking in the sight of the roaring flames. Her hand slipped into her pants pocket to take out her wedding ring. She looked at it and the last tear slipped out of her eye. She closed her palm around it and then threw it into the fire. She was done. She was ready to move on from here.

**I can't begin to describe how much i love the KeenxRessler pairing. These two work so good together. Red's gonna have a lot of mentions in this story because I believe that there wouldn't be Keenler without Reddington. I mean, he is the reason they are working together in the first place, right? Anyhow, I'd try to update as often as possible and your reviews are welcomed. Thank you for reading! :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own the Blacklist or anything concerning it, just the ideas.**

Red had offered to walk Liz to her doorstep. The walk was a quiet one until they reached her door. "Thank You, Red," she expressed.

"Lizzie, it's not me you should be thanking," he replied. Liz didn't want to ponder over the hidden meaning behind that sentence. Before she smiled and turned away Red reiterated, "Lizzie - what you did today, was a HUGE step towards getting over Tom. You need to move on. Go out, have a good time. Go have dinner, watch a movie...redecorate the house. Hell, sell it for all I care," he paused and thought carefully about what he was going to say next. "I've done lots of living Lizzie, but somewhere inside of me was just - never contented. You have your whole life in front of you, make new memories with someone who would love, trust and respect you for who you are."

She was at a loss for words. Red was telling her that she could find love again. She knew he was right, but she doubted herself. She was never sure whether she could trust a man ever again after what Tom did. Red started to turn to walk away, but before taking his first step, he turned back, "Lizzie, if there's anything you ever need, I WILL be there - no matter what."

She nodded in response to his statement and he walked away. Liz went into her home and perched herself on the stairway. She couldn't help but notice how different her home was feeling now. She couldn't help but notice how different she was feeling now. Everything felt lighter, as though a weight had been lifted. Her train of thought was disturbed by the doorbell. "Coming!" She shouted as she picked herself of the stairway. She opened the door to see Ressler.

"Hey," he greeted with a faint smile.

"Hey - come in," she responded making way for him to enter her home. She led him to the kitchen, "Beer?"

"Sure," he replied. While she was getting beers for both of them, he couldn't help but take a good look at her surrounding. Something seemed different. The atmosphere of the house was different. There was no sign of Tom. The walls no longer had any photographs of him or even the two of them together. "I got rid of his stuff today," he heard her say. He looked at her as if trying to process what to say to her. What he could do? Should he hug her? Liz continued, "His clothes, pictures, colognes, everything. I burned them all."

"Really? You really burnt them? All?" he questioned in his current state of amusement.

"I called in a few favors. I even threw THE ring with it," she said. He couldn't help but notice that she referred to her wedding ring as THE ring. She was ready to get over it. He gave a small chuckle and said, "Well, I guess this is cause celebrate." He took a sip of his beer.

"How come you're not at the post office?" asked Liz.

"Well, when there's no you, there's no Reddington. No Reddington, no new cases. Same ole, Same ole. So I decided to call it a day," he ended with a smile.

"And you just happened to land on my doorstep," she replied.

"I thought I'll pass by. Check to see if you needed anything, or if you're still hung over from last night"

"Please don't remind me. As you said, I was in a bad place okay," they both laughed at the memories of the night before.

"Liz, would you – " Don paused as if he was not sure whether he should continue or not. Liz looked at him intently.

"Let me take you out to dinner tonight, celebrate your new found status," he finally mustered up the courage to ask her. He hated to admit it, but after wanting to ask her for two months, it took a lot from him to muster up the courage to ask.

"Moving in on me already I see," she said with a chuckle of amusement, whilst nodding.

"A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do right," he responded in the same tone of amusement as she had. They both smiled at each other, passing a heated glance, not exactly sure how it was going to play off for them both. But her response, "I'd like that," made him acknowledge that they were both making some headway.

"Well, I should go back to my flat and change," he said as he got up and started heading towards the door. Liz followed him out. Don turned around and looked at her before walking down her doorsteps, "I'll pick you up at 8. Sounds good?"

"Sounds perfect," She replied and she watched him turn and walk towards his vehicle.

She closed in the door and leaned up against her. She instantly felt the butterflies, which caused her to smile and bite her lip. The only explanation she could give for feeling this way, is that somewhere deep down inside, she had always been drawn towards Ressler, even before her divorce and she knew that he probably felt the same. She had to admit to herself that he was considerably hot and she did take into account the heated glance they'd both throw at each other. But those weren't the only the factors that played in her attraction towards him. Tom knew she had scars, all he did was try and sooth her and then ask her why she's still working for the FBI. Don – he knew how she had gotten them and why. He cleaned the wounds and lifted her spirits. He made her want to continue her line of work, and work even harder. She admired the way he brushes of Red's snide remarks, the way he would correct her if she were wrong and she admired the fact that it didn't take long for him to trust her completely. She knew what it felt like to be wrapped by his arms – warm. She knew what it felt like to know that he was the only other one besides Reddington, that will do anything to protect her.

Two years ago, after the whole Anslo Garrick debacle, she saw a change in his behavior towards her. Despite the fact of him disobeying a direct order, the undeniable truth was that he did it to keep her alive. It was a subject that neither of them dared to approach because they were afraid of the repercussions it would have on their relationship with each other, or their relationship with the people around them. Whatever they felt, it was best to keep it locked away. But things are different now. The one factor that was keeping them apart was gone. They both knew it was probably to soon, but it was a risk worth taking.

After dinner, Don dropped her back at her house. He waited until she was inside and then drove off. On his way back to his flat, all he could think about was her. _She was beautiful tonight. _He admired the way that she went all out for him tonight. He seen her in tight fitted dresses already, but they all were for undercover cases – with Reddington. He'd never seen her look more beautiful than this; the white dress made her skin glow, the smile that was radiating on her face, they way she laughed sent him in a daze. He didn't miss the heated glances sent to his direction, because he did the same. He knew it was to soon, but if he hadn't asked, God alone knows if he ever would've. It seemed so out character – his character. He had spent so long building walls, putting coils of barbed wire to ensure no one would jump over. But Liz rammed right through the wall, taking down all of his defenses.

When he arrived to his flat, he took a shower and landed on his bed. He tried to get her out of his thoughts, but failed miserably. In fact, it only made things worse. He closed his eyes, and all he saw was her. All he saw was her at the side of him, on his bed, with that bright smile she wore that night, with her hair draped across her shoulder, calling his name – _Don_. He didn't fight the dream. He just let it be. He wasn't going to deny how he felt for her. Not again at least and with that he drifted of to a deep sleep.

**Sorry for taking long. But i just started back classes, and my schedule just got even more hectic. Life of a university student *sighs* Anyway thanks to those who reviewed, I really do appreciate it. I'm not sure about this chapter, but hopefully tonight's ep. would give me some inspiration for the next. Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own The Blacklist. Enjoy!**

The rest of the week passed by pretty good for Liz. Getting up for early morning runs, going to the grocery, visiting the hardware store. At the end of every day, all she looked forward too was her daily visit from Ressler. They'd share their day's events, have a beer over it. One day she even vouched for him to stay over for dinner. Spending that little time with him meant the world to her. As each day passed they grew closer to one another. Both of them putting smiles on each other's faces.

When the weekend approached, Liz was all to busy with redecorating her house. She had moved all the furniture and started repainting her walls. Cosmic Blue, Lime Green and Cherry Pink. She chose colours that not only represented the change that she was physically undergoing, but also represented the change she felt inside. This entire week that passed, brought out that sense of vibrancy in her. She found the will to smile and laugh again. She didn't need to be sad and lonely, especially when Ressler and Red were there. They both had her best interest at heart, not wanting her to ever loose that smile. Not ever wanting her to lose that hope of finding love again.

That Sunday, she had invited over a neighbor to help her with the painting. She wanted to get it done before going back out to work the following Monday. While both women were painting to the company of the loud music playing, Liz stopped in her tracks when she faintly heard the knock on the front door. She lowed down the music on her stereo and walked towards the door. She knew she had paint all over but what the hell.

When she opened the door, she smiled quicker than he could say hi.

"What on earth are you doing in there?" he asked with a smug grin on his face, "And why do you have paint all over you?"

"Come in, I'm doing a bit of redecorating," she said as she moved aside allowing him to enter.

Ressler looked at the drawing room that was already painted in pink, "Couldn't you have chosen a brighter colour?"

"Don't ever send me to choose paint, otherwise your apartment would look like willy wonka's factory." She threw him over a paint brush, "minus the oompa loompas…Choose a wall."

He didn't say a word when he saw the color she gave to him. What epiphany did she have? All he could do was shake his head and smile. Liz turned back on the music and they went straight till dusk painting. When they finished, Liz's neighbor left and they were both finally alone.

Liz went to the kitchen, brought out two beers and went back to sit next to him on the sofa.

"Where were you yesterday?" she asked.

"Cooper wanted me at the Blacksite yesterday, to follow up some leads on one of my older cases yesterday," he replied and took a sip of his beer. He looked up and turned towards her, placing his arm on the backrest of the sofa. She leaned in closer and looked at him while resting her head on the backrest of the sofa.

"Are you happy now?" he asked her while holding her in a never-ending gaze.

"In the last four months – I think – this is the happiest I've been," she gave him that smile he looked forward to seeing so much. The smile grew brighter as seconds passed by. He couldn't help but return it. He slowly brought the hand that was resting on the backrest of the sofa, closer to her face. She appreciated this gesture and dug her face deeper into the palm of his hand and blinked her sleepy eyes. What happened next felt like dream to her. She saw him moving in closer to her with his gaze shifting from her eyes to her lips. Immediately, she figured him out. And she let him go right ahead. Don pressed his lips against hers. Soft at first, not knowing whether she wanted this as much as he did. After feeling her hand travel up his torso to reach his neck, he deepened it a little more, and then she pulled him in closer and he just continued the long passionate kiss he was holding her in. After what felt like an eternity, he carefully broke the kiss and she made a small grunt. He could've gone further but he decided to take it slow. He rested his forehead on hers and placed his hand on her hip.

"I should go," he muttered breathlessly.

"We have work tomorrow," she replied in understanding.

"And you need to wash off the paint from on your face," he said and they both chuckled. Before getting off the sofa, he pressed one hard, long, passionate kiss on her lips once again, both reluctant to break it, "I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he got up and left.

XXXX

Being back out to work, made her realize how much she enjoyed her week at home. From the minute she arrived, she had been bombarded with paperwork and Red's latest blacklister. But she didn't mind all that when everyday, she got to share an office with Don. She got to sit opposite him, go over case files with him, work late with him, stop and look at him. After that kiss, things seemed to have changed but neither chose to address the topic. Instead, they threw at each other rare smiles that were only reserved for them. They occasionally brushed each other's arms. The glances they gave one another only made it harder for them to stay apart and not want to rip each other's clothes off.

Don had to admit it. He didn't know she would've reacted the way she did. In his spare time, he replayed that moment. The way she pulled him closer, the way she grunted when they parted. He'd do it all over again, but he wanted to give her space. Obviously, they both needed to think about where they were headed, because that kiss was not only an expression of his emotions; it was also one of hers. He would have to work through the rest of the week, holding on to the sweet memory of the feel of her lips. She was like a drug to him; one that he needed but couldn't put his hands on. How could one taste have him so addicted? _Audrey never did that to me._

Their latest case had come to an end. It was closing into midnight when they returned to the blacklist. Liz felt sore. Her legs hurt. Her arm felt as though they were ready to fall of. This last case had taken a toll on her physically. In one week, she travelled from Washington to Turkey and back. She was on a high speed chase, trying to nail a suspect. Together with Ressler and a SWAT, they ambushed an abandoned factory, only to realize that the perpetrators were ready and waiting for them, firing shots left, right and center. She suffered a few cuts and bruises but that couldn't hold her back. No matter, how much Ressler tried to hold her back, he knew she wasn't going to listen to him. After having caught the blacklister, the adrenaline rush started seeping away, and the pain started kicking in. She sat by desk and attempted to start writing up the report. A couple minutes later, Ressler walked in, "Liz, Cooper wants a full….." she had his full attention now. Ressler looked at her and looked like hell. He closed the door and sat down on his chair, facing her.

She looked up at him, "What does Cooper want?"

"The full report by tomorrow 1100hrs. But it can wait, you don't look so good Liz."

"I'd say the same about you," she replied.

He took the file away from her, so that she'll forget it and leave everything until the morning. When she attempted to stretch to get the file, he saw the flash of pain on her face. "Liz, let me take you home. Clearly you're in a lot of discomfort."

"I'm fine Ressler, besides, it won't take that long," she rebutted.

"It can wait Liz. Come on, let's go," he said in a more demanding tone.

She got up of her chair and before she could bend down to pick up her bag, "Don't worry, I'll get it," he told her. He let her walk of in front of him and didn't fail to notice the faint limp she was walking with. He stayed close to her. He didn't know if to hold her hand, or put his arm around her to lend support. Either way she would have shrugged him off in an effort to show him that she's fine. If you asked him what he admired most about Liz, it would've been her strength, her sense of independence. Despite the fact that for the past four months she let Tom suck the sheer essence out of her, she was back to being the Liz he knew and loved.

XXXXX

When they arrived at her apartment, he helped her to her door. She fished out the keys from her purse, and they both entered the house. He put his arm around her waist, _finally,_ and helped her up the stairs to her bathroom. He allowed her the privacy that she needed and went back downstairs. _I should leave now. But what if she needs help? Oh, she'll be fine. No she won't. _He mentally laughed at himself when he realized the dilemma he was putting himself through.

"Oh fuck…" he heard Liz grumble loudly in the silence of the house.

Immediately he rushed up the stairs to check on her, but he didn't expect the bathroom door to be wide open. Liz was still dressed in her underwear and bra, and her back was turned towards the door. She had blue-black welts on her back. He stared at it for so long that he didn't even know when he started to walk up to her. His arms reached out towards her, and when they finally met her skin, her gasp of surprise brought him back to earth. When he realized how close he was to her, how the touch of her skin felt, he knew there was no going back.

**TBH...i didn't know where to take it. Last episode messed me up so bad that my imagination had just run dry after that. Hope you all don't think I'm rushing things :( I really hope you don't mind the lack off fluff.**


	4. Chapter 4 : SEXUAL HEALING

**Close your eyes kiddies, this chapter may be a bit to mature for you.**

Xxxx

She just stood there in pain of anticipation as to what he would do next. She felt his arms encircle her, holding onto her as though he would never let go. Next she felt his lips latch onto the nape of her neck. She bent her head back, letting out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, all the pain was gone. All she was feeling was desire. She rested her hands on his that were wrapped so tightly around her and pushed it apart so that she could turn to face him. In the dim bathroom lights, she looked into his eyes. She wanted to see if his eyes held the same desire she had. She saw it. Her hands moved up his chest and hooked his jacket so that she could take it of. Being the gentleman he was, he assisted by loosening his tie and kicking of his shoe, while she tugged his shirt out of his pants.

_Slowly Donald, you don't want to rush things. Let her set the pace. _Her hands moved down to his belt buckle, while he shed the shirt of his body. He brought his hands to cup her face, and she let his pants drop to the floor. He dropped his head so that his lips could meet hers, and when it did Liz's hand travelled up his chest and around his neck. His hands moved from her neck down to her back, sending shivers through her entire body. As he pulled her in closer, he heard her make a painful gasp. He immediately parted from the kiss and rested his forehead on hers, "Do you really want to do this? Now?"

"More than you could imagine," she said while holding him in a long, desperate gaze filled with desire.

Don stepped away, walked towards the shower and turned it on, "Those welts are gonna pain like hell if you don't put some warm water on it."

"It won't pain if you're around," she said teasingly.

"Please, explain to me that phenomenon," he said as he walked back to her and reeled her in closer. His hand travelled up her and found the hook-and-eyes of her bra.

"Explain? I'll show it to you," she murmured before pulling down his head so that she could meet his lips. In a matter of mere seconds they shed the rest of their clothes, and entered the shower. What happened in there? Endless foreplay, teasing. Their lips were latched on to one another's, while their hands were having an adventure; exploring, feeling – every sensitive spot – hers and his.

Don hoisted her up in the air, allowing her to tightly wrap her legs around him. Soaking wet, they came out of the shower and into the closest bedroom and laid her down, gently, taking care not to cause her more pain than she was in already. He positioned himself over her to get a good look of her face. She looked stunning. She looked at him with such desire – passion. He had to be dreaming because he never thought that she would look at him in that light. Slowly and carefully, he came down to her, keeping his weight on his arms. He kissed her, taking his time so that they'd be able to savor the moment.

Her hands went around his neck, to twine her fingers through his hair, as a means of pulling him closer. He broke the kiss, and with a pant, he murmured to her, "Let me do all the work," and with that, Don carved a path down to her hips with hot burning kisses; each one feeling like a jolt of energy. He laced his fingers through hers, to keep her hands steady. "Don…please," she pleaded. He knew what she wanted, but he told himself to take it slowly, there's all night to make slow passionate love to her.

He slowly came back up to her breasts, covering them one by one with his mouth. Liz squeezed his hand tighter letting go a deep moan. The kisses moved from the middle of her chest, up the nape of her neck and back to her lips. Their tongues danced with each other for what seemed like an eternity. "Don," she moaned against his lips, and with that he knew he couldn't wait longer either. He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes as though he was looking for a go ahead. One beautiful smile was all he needed to know that she was just as sure about this as he was. With one swift movement, he was inside her. He heard her gasp before looking back down at her and allowing her to adjust to him being inside her. "Don," she called out to him and he came back to her lips locking her in a kiss as he started thrusting again and again; trying to exert every shred of control. To him, Liz was like precious cargo; made to be handled with tender love and care. From the moment he first felt what it was like to have her in his arms, he knew that he would do whatever it took to keep her safe and protected, to make sure no one would ever hurt her physically and emotionally.

Liz could feel it coming; the rush of pure ecstasy that she was about to get. She was looking forward to it with great anticipation. She was looking forward to him experiencing the same. The movements became, faster, harder. She heard him call her name once, twice and after that it was all a daze. Her head was spinning but all see could clearly see was Don. She moaned his name one last time, before they both came to a warm release. His body dropped on hers and she wrapped her hands around him, placing gentle kisses on his neck. They just lay there waiting for their breaths to even out, syncing with one another. When it did, Don slightly raised his body so that he was still in her embrace. "Are you alright?" he asked her.

She smile at him, eyes never leaving his, "Don – that – that was amazing."

He brought his head down to her so that he could kiss her. He then rolled of to the side of her, resting his head on the pillow; and gently pulled her against his side so that she could rest her head on his chest. He held on to her, and together they fell into a deep sleep.

XXXX

Her eyes slowly opened to the bright sunlight coming through the window. Where was she? Certainly not in her room? _Ohhh._ She remembered when she realized what her head was resting on…..who her head was resting on. Last night – felt like a dream; it still seemed so unreal. With her being wrapped in his arms and all. She shifted a bit, reigniting the pain of the bruises on her back. She made a soft little wince but that wasn't going to get her out of his embrace. Instead, she looked up at his face. Calm – not a crease on his face. His lips were faintly bent into a contented smile, after which she felt herself forming that same exact smile. She dug her face into his chest, blushing and all, and placed a kiss on it.

He did in fact felt the kiss she left on his chest. Because of it, he slowly opened his eyes, to meet the blue eyes that were examining the features of his face. He widened his smile and murmured, "Morning".

"Good morning, to you too," she replied. And stretched forward to kiss him.

"How are you?"

"I'm perfect"

"And the back?"

"Well that's gonna take some time to get better. But I'll live through it. I have you, right?"

He looked at her when she made that statement. He rolled her onto her back and perched himself over her, "I'll always be there for you." He lowered his head down to her and kissed her. He left her lips, to press playful, teasing kisses on her neck that left Liz chuckling like a schoolgirl. Her head turned to the side and she took notice of the clock on her bedside table. "Shit. Don we're late," she pushed him aside and quickly skittered of the bed. Don took notice of the clock – 10:45am. Mentally, he cursed the lord for being a spoilsport. He followed her to the bathroom and she was already brushing her teeth. He searched the pile of clothes he left on the bathroom floor for his phone, "Ten missed calls, from both Cooper and Malik."

"You need to go home and change," she said after gurgling water.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said as he leaned against the frame of the door with a big grin.

She walked towards him and pushed him back, "We need to go work, Don."

He pulled her forward, tightly wrapping his arm around her, "I am not going anywhere because I have a spare suit in the van."

"Why am I not surprised, Agent Donald Ressler?" she questioned as she looked at his intent face.

"Because we've been working together for two years. And if it's one thing you've learned about me is that I'm always prepared," he bent his head towards her and kissed her, "Gimme two minutes and I'll run down to the van and get it. In the meantime, start showering….don't finish without me." He winked at her and walked out.

XXXX

By the time they had come out of the shower, it was already 11:00 am.

"Cooper's going to be furious," Liz panicked as she was putting on her pants.

"We're already late, why are you rushing?" he said while tucking his shirt into his pants.

"Well, incase you didn't remember, we had a case report to submit 10 minutes ago," she said while she put on her shoes. She looked up at him, already dressed and looking as calm as ever.

"Liz, everything's going to be swell. I'm sure he boil down after a while," he reassured her.

XXXX

When they reached to the Post Office, Cooper was furious. Liz took the blame by lying and saying, she wasn't feeling to well last night so Ressler took her to the emergency room instead of home. Obviously, that poor excuse didn't do the job, but it was worth the shot.

They both walked to the office they shared and took their respective seats, so that they could start writing that report.

"That was a really nice excuse," exclaimed a voice coming from by the door. They both looked up to meet Reddington's intuitive gaze. "Did you two have fun? Was the emergency room warm and cozy?"

"Red…just say it," said a frustrated sounding Ressler.

"I'm just happy for you two, that's all," he said with a grin.

Liz breathed in and out with the same depth. "Two years, and I still don't know how you do it. Figure people out on the spot."

"Well for starters, you both were unreachable. Even if you were really in the hospital, Donald here would've still picked up his phone regardless of the situation," Reddington punctuated the sentence with a grin and looked at Donald, "Anyways, I have a business to run, cheerio." Reddington proceeded to walk back out before turning around and saying, "Don, for future reference leave a bottle of that musk you always wear over by Liz. It might help with the cover up."

Reddington walked out and Don turned back to face Liz. She looked at him and gave him a faint chuckle. "What? You think that was funny?" he said and returned the smile. Liz nodded and buried her head into the paperwork.

**this was all senseless drabble. Letting my imagination run a little to quick and a little to wild because of how badly i want Keensler to happen. but i had to give it shot. Again thanks to all who reviewed, you guys a really sweet. Please R&R. XO**


	5. Chapter 5

**This new chapter was inspired by a prompt on tumblr made a long while ago suggesting that Ressler may be the one who was connected to Reddington. Thanks to whoever made that.**

* * *

"Agent Keen, can I have a word with you in my office?" asked Assistant Director Cooper.

Liz looked at Don and then got up and followed her superior to his office. After Liz left the office, Don's phone vibrated on his desk. _"Meet me at the Washington Monument in twenty. – Red"_

XXXX

"We want you to testify against Tom Keen, in front of a Grand Jury?" Agent Cooper blatantly said.

"Sir, I thought we had enough evidence to support the prosecution?" questioned Liz.

"So did I. But the AG thought that with your testimony together with the evidence, might hasten the proceedings," he stated.

"Sir, as much as I want to see him behind bars for the rest of my life, I still don't know the complete truth. How can I testify when my words reflect the same things as the evidence put forward? Why can't they call on Ressler or Reddington? Hell, Reddington is the reason that I suspected Tom in the first place, why don't they ask him?"

"Agent Keen, I know this is a tight spot for you. They don't want Ressler and to them Reddington's still off grid," he intercepted, "You are the only person with close ties to Tom. They want you."

For Liz, going down that road meant having to face Tom again. But she didn't have a choice did she? "When is it?"

"Three days from now," replied Cooper.

Liz got up from where she was seated in front of Cooper and walked out of the office back to hers. Fortunately, Don wasn't there to see her in such a ghastly condition. She picked up her stuff and just left the office without telling anyone.

XXXX

Meanwhile, Don went to visit Red. He knew what this was about. He was going to get the talk. He sat down on the bench beside Reddington, "You mind telling me what I'm here for Red?"

"Relax, Donald. Enjoy the scenery won't you?" Don really wasn't in a mood to argue with the man. So he just sat there and waited for him to say something. "She shouldn't know about our little arrangement Donald?"

Don certainly didn't expect him to bring it up. After the first slip up Tom made, Red approached Ressler for help, telling him that he was the only person to be trusted with his Lizzie. It was unlike Reddington to ask for help. But circumstances called for it. "And here I thought you were going to give me the 'hurt her and I kill you' speech."

"I'm glad you think so highly of me Donald. But I know you well enough that you won't let her down," replied Red.

"She's gonna find out eventually Red. How long do you intend to keep it from her?" Asked Don.

"She's still quite fragile Don. Telling her may break her even more. She needs more time to heal,"

"She's stronger than you think Red"

"I know. But love…it has a way of getting under your skin not matter how bad it hurts. No matter how many memories it brings back. We could lose her trust Donald. To know that we both went behind her back and investigated Tom for the last year…it would devastate her to know that we're the reason everything around her crumbled."

Don thought it through and there's some merit to what Red was saying. Liz was still fragile when it came to Tom. He had been in such a position when it came to Audrey and she just made a fool out of him. If telling Liz meant he could lose her trust he wasn't going to risk it. "When the time is right Donald, she would know."

And with that Red got up and left Don sitting alone on the park bench. A few minutes later, Don left same speed and headed back to the blacksite. When he arrived, his office was still empty. But he noticed that Liz's things weren't there. He tried calling her but she didn't pick up. He tried again and again, but no answer. _Liz always answers her phone._ He was starting to get the feeling that something was wrong. He headed towards Meera's office to see if she was there but no luck. "Have you seen Liz?" he asked

"I went to look for her and you both weren't in the office. So I assumed she was with you," replied Meera.

He went to Cooper's office to see if she was there but no luck at all. "Sir, have you seen Keen?"

"She left my office almost half an hour ago," replied Cooper.

_Something's wrong, Don._ He went back to his office and picked up his phone and keys. He called her over and over again while he stormed out of the post office. _She must have gone home._ "Come on, Keen pick up your god damn phone."

He knew something was wrong. She just wouldn't leave without telling someone especially in the middle of the day. Even if she was going for lunch, she always waited for him.

XXXX

Liz reached home and dropped everything on the floor. It amazed her as to how, in a matter of what – 12 hours – her mood had changed from ecstatic to downright dreadful. She headed towards the dining room and started digging in the hutch for something, anything to get her mind of Tom. Why were they so determined on putting her through this? She found a bottle of Johnny Walker; one that Tom bought two years ago but never had an opportunity to drink it. _You're never home._ She remembered him saying, more like shouting to her.

She cracked the seal on the bottle and drank straight from it. She walked towards the living room and dropped herself on the couch, where she continued carelessly drinking the scotch, until eventually passing out.

XXXX

Don ran up to her door and repeatedly pressed the doorbell. But there was no answer. He started searching the flowerpots on her doorstep for a spare key and luckily he found one. He quickly opened the door and rushed inside. "Liz!" No answer. He walked towards the kitchen but she wasn't there. He then went into the living room and there he found her, passed out on the couch with a bottle of half emptied scotch on the ground. _Why did she do this? _

He placed the bottle of scotch on the center table and then picked her up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. He gently rested her on her bed and covered her. He looked at her for a while wondering what happened? What drove her to drink until she passed out? The next thing he did was totally unexpected. He took out his phone and called his number three on speed dial. "What is it Donald?" asked Reddington on the other line.

"I think you need to come to Liz's house. She just drank herself to unconsciousness," said Don with every hint of worry in his voice.

"I'll be there. Don't leave her alone Donald"

"Okay," said Don and he hung up the phone.

Don sat on the single couch that was situated at the corner of her room and kept a watchful eye on her until Red came.

* * *

**I know i took really long with this one. lack of inspiration and assignments kept me back. I really liked the idea of Red and Ressler making some kind of deal with each other but only along the line of protecting Liz. Idk it's just my opinion. any ways i hope you all enjoy this. i'll try to get a next chap up soon. please R&R. you input could help a lot. Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own the blacklist. I'm terribly sorry for the false alarm last week. The site messed up my upload and due to midterms and class assignment, I had to take so long to re write the entire chapter.**

* * *

Liz got with the urge to vomit, causing her to get of her bed and run to bathroom. Just as she knelt down by the toilet bowl, she let it all out; breakfast, lunch and all the alcohol. She almost didn't notice when someone stooped down at the side of her, holding her hair out of her face and lightly rubbing her back. " What are you doing here?" she croaked before going at it again.

"Let it all out, Lizzie," said Red.

When she was finished she got up and Red handed her a washcloth. "Now that you know what it's like to have alcohol poisoning, I hope you've learnt your lesson. Now get out of these clothes and take a shower. I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

Red left her standing in the bathroom and went down stairs. He knew that she'd be dehydrated and hungry so he decided to make her a broth. He scavenged through her kitchen to gather the ingredients. While waiting for the soup to reach to a boil, Dembe walked in with a phone, "It's Agent Ressler."

"Donald, how nice of you to call."

_"Is she awake? Is she alright?"_

"You worry too much Donald. She's perfectly fine. You can come later to check up on her. AT least after I'm gone."

_"Did she tell you anything?"_

"Whether or not she did I'm not obliged to tell you. You find that out in your own time. In the meantime, I have a patient who's waiting on a bowl of soup and a lovely glass of water. Ciao."

Red hung up before Donald could say anything. His thought process was too busy worry about Liz that he didn't need to be bombarded with questions from Agent Ressler. He prepared a lovely tray table for Liz and walked up the stairs with it. By the time he got to her bedroom, Liz had already gotten back on her bed. He walked over to her side of the bed and laid the tried on her bedside table. He sat down and gently rubbed her hand, alerting her that he was there.

"Hey," she quietly said as she opened back her eyes.

"I brought you something to eat," he told her.

"Red, I'm not really hungry."

"You just vomited a whole day worth of food. And you're dehydrated. If you're not going to take care of yourself, I will."

Liz got into an upright position and allowed him to hand her the tray table on the bed. Red watched her as she started eating the soup.

"I don't know what's more surprising you here or you cooking?"

"You worried poor old Donald sick that he actually called me to say that you drank yourself unconscious and as for the cooking, it's a hobby." He smiled at her before continuing, "What happened Lizzie?"

"Nothing I'm sure you don't know."

"They want you to testify against Tom don't they."

"Yeah," she replied.

"Couldn't you have said no?"

"It's a grand jury Red. And the AG insisted that they here from a living victim of Tom's 'job', his wife."

"Liz, it's just a testimony, that's all. You're letting him get the best of you. Last two weeks you were nothing but all smiles."

"What if I'm not ready? What if my word is not enough? What if the evidence is not enough? How could I testify when I still don't know the complete truth?"

"Your questions are filled with 'what ifs' Liz. The chances of any of those things happening are minimal. Besides, you know that I will not let Tom Keen see a ray of sunshine if he intends to harm you."

Liz drank her glass of water in one go and rested it back on the tray. Red took it up and put it on the bedside table so that Liz could lie down, "You need to rest Lizzie. And I have business to attend to." Red made sure that Liz was tucked into bed and before he left he place a gentle kiss on her forehead, as a sign of reassurance that everything would be just fine. Liz appreciated the gesture since it reminded her of how Sam would comfort her. Red was the closest thing she had to a father – at least when he's not being Raymond Reddington the criminal mastermind. Liz drifted of into sleep and Red went back down to the car that was parked just outside. "Dembe, Let's pay Mallory a visit shall we?"

XXXX

Liz woke open to the sound of a closing door downstairs. She looked at the time, 11:11 pm. She doubted that red would leave her front door unlocked and she certainly wasn't expecting anyone. She started hearing footsteps. She quietly got of her bed and put her hand on the closest available weapon – he Don Mattingly signed baseball bat. As the footsteps started making their way up the stairs, she inched her closer to door in way that will give her a chance to swing her intruder and knock him on the floor. In the darkness, she stood waiting as the footsteps stopped. She tighten her grip when the door handle turned and when the door swung open she swung her bat. It knocked him to the floor and she quickly flipped the switch for the light to come on so she could get a look as her assailant. "What the hell, Keen?" shouted Don, who was on the floor holding the side that received the blow.

"Don, what the hell are you doing here? Couldn't you have called? Or rang the door bell or something?" she stooped down at the side of him, "Are you hurt? Did I break anything? I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. At least we don't have to worry about you getting robbed," he said while a slight smirk. Liz got up and extended a hand to help him up. As he stood, he pulled her into his arms, "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap," she responded. She wrapped her arms around Don and buried her head deeper into his chest, wanting to get the comforting scent of him.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I'd rather not," she quickly rebutted and held him tighter.

"Okay then," he stood there supporting her cause that's what she needed.

"It's like not matter how hard I try, to get away from Tom, I can see him, looking at me, laughing at me for being such a fool. Don, believe me when I say I loved him 'cause I really did. And to find out that the man I married, that slept by my side, who wanted to adopt a baby with me, considered you his job, that it was all a lie, it didn't just break my heart, Don, it broke me. And to step into the world and pretend that everything's just fine, makes dealing with this even harder," she allowed a tear to escape her eyes and at her first sniff Don cupped her face and wiped away the tears. He took her over to the bed and they both had a seat.

"Liz, I'm not gonna lie and tell you that I know what you're feeling," he took her hand between both of his, "You don't need to pretend with me. I know it's gonna take a lot of time to get over it especially something like that. But it doesn't mean you can't move on from it. And I'm not saying this because of – what happened last night," she smiled at the mention of that, "I want you to know that it is possible to start your life over. I mean look at you house, it looks like a Disney movie waiting to happen and the main woman is the strong, confident, independent, bitch that walked into post office two years ago," they both laughed on that last note when she remembered profiling herself as being a bitch. "Just don't ever pull that stunt you did today," he told while pulling her in his arm, "I called Reddington because of how panicked I was."

"What an odd thing to do," she chuckled.

"I should go. You need your rest – "

"Don, can you stay?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Don placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and went to her bathroom, where stripped into his tshirt and boxers. When he came back out Liz was already in bed. He tucked himself on the side of her and she moved over to be closer to him. He waited until she fell asleep before falling asleep himself.

* * *

**I'm sorry if this chapter didn't meet your expectation, having to rewrite the entire thing was depressing with the lack of inspiration made it even worse. Here's to hoping that the next episode would have some more keensler that last. BTW..thanks for sticking through with me for the entirety of this story so far.** **Love you all so much!**


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